Dragging Self Through Depression

Slowly, the snail moves.
Slowly, I move with the gloom.
Progress, nonetheless.

My last post was on the theme of “happy” for the WordPress weekly photo challenge. It is true that my family does bring me happiness and even when I’m depressed a smile comes out when I’m with them. I’ve been depressed the past couple of days. I even missed work yesterday because of it. The haiku I wrote above is a short summary of what I have felt the past two days. I was way too slow physically and mentally to accomplish my job. It use to be that when I felt this slow I would completely resign myself to sleep and just resting. I guess I have progressed in that area. I still do get some rest, but I have developed the philosophy of snails and tortoises. Although slow in comparison to all the other creatures, they continue to move. Realizing that I may need to sleep and rest a little more, but not so much more that my whole life comes to a stand still, I have learned to drag myself through the depression slowly and steadily with alternating rest and action. I realize that there’s no use in beating myself up about being slow and depressed. For me it’s sort of like having a cold in my brain. How it got there, I’m not sure, but right now I need rest and will be slow for a while. Even on my medication, this gloom happens to me every couple of months then vanishes. Eventually, I feel like myself again, but till then I rest a little, move a little, rest, move a little more, rest, and so on. I may not be all there, but I can get a little done. And that’s progress for me when progress feels almost impossible.

20121009-094523.jpg The speed I go when I’m depressed. I found the cute cartoon above on Google.


About Claudia

Hi!! My name is Claudia. Blogging is sort of a creative/therapeutic activity for me. I blog about being a wife, mother, student, caseworker, and simply being human through photography, words, music, and blog challenges. Mental illness has also been part of my life, so you'll sometimes find mental health and psychology in my posts. I've dealt with anxiety and depression most of my life. And my husband has bipolar disorder. My hope is that I may show readers that it is possible for people to live positive, productive lives despite mental illness, challenges, or frustrations. View all posts by Claudia

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