Category Archives: Writing Challenges

Rushing Waves

waves rush, unsettle

the sandy shores of grounding–

time unsettles time…

Part of the Haiku My Heart weekly challenge. This short poem is my little expression of what’s on my mind.


Scatterbrained – 6WS

Lately, I’m feeling calmer, but scatterbrained.

Normally propelled by my anxiety, my

current calm perplexes me and has

me stuck in a changing state

of mind.  I guess my mind

is being open to something new.

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When I think of scatterbrained, I think of Dr. Walter Bishop from the Fringe TV show. He’s extremely intelligent, but he is often all over the place.  But those frequent scatters of his mind often lead his team and the viewer to some profound truths.  Although I doubt I’m as intelligent, I am feeling the intense scatterbrain, poor focus part.  I have felt this before several years ago and eventually got back on track again.  The difference this time is that my anxiety symptoms have decreased drastically in the past couple of months.  However, I feel a bit lost without the extra push of motivation that the anxiety seemed to give.  Then again, my past excessive anxiety is not something I want to come back to.  The little poem above is something I came up with to express the confusion and frustration I’m feeling.  Anyway, from experience with a similar scatterbrain state in the past, I find that it usually signals something that needs attention or resolving that I have been avoiding.  I’m not quite sure what that is right now, but I have the feeling something’s opening up, and someone is trying to tell me something.  God does work in mysterious ways.

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Inspired by


Be – Haiku My Heart

to be just to be;
such awkward a buzz to be:
the bee simply flies…

Beehive Print from an 1840's Natural History Book

Beehive Print from an 1840’s Natural History Book

Inspired by Haiku My Heart at Recuerda Mi Corazon

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December Peace Post

b4peace

“After last months challenge of loving thy enemy, I want to give you a party. So this months challenge is to plan a party that will ripple peace to the world. Use everything in your imagination for this peace party….”
-Kozo

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Believe it or not, the idea of having a party is scary for me.  So when I read Kozo’s challenge for December, I was not thrilled.  Quiet solitude or time with a few friends and family are enough for me.  Anything bigger is no fun. Okay, that is not all true. I do prefer solitude and a few friends and family, but I have gone to music concerts and had a great time. As a matter of fact, I remember going to a U2 concert in 2005 with my husband and feeling like I was at church. No kidding, it had some kind of spiritual feel about it. Thinking back on that experience, I realize that thousands of people focused on something positive is a powerful thing. In that case, it was U2’s amazingly uplifting music performance. Thinking about this particular concert experience and the idea of a peace party, something else came to mind. I remembered LiveAid in 1985 and how concerts were organized to benefit famine in Africa. That event was also very powerful and memorable.

So here’s my little idea for a party for peace.  Since, I love music so much, my peace party would be a concert festival with music, food, and art from different parts of the world.  I would invite my family, friends, neighbors, fellow bloggers, and everyone that wanted to come.  Proceeds from the concert festival earnings from t-shirts, art, music, and food would go to a foundation created to support the work of promoting peace through social media and a yearly concert festival for peace.

Of course, it would be nice if U2 would play and bring everyone together in a big final musical performance at the end of the concert festival for peace.  And usually around this time of the week I have a music post, but I really wanted to post this last peace post of the year before January got here.  So, instead of the usual music challenge, I’ll attach a song from the 1985 LiveAid concert to the end of this post.  That way you can get a feel of what this concert festival for peace could be like.  Below is a video that is a great example of the energy that Bono and his band U2 give off during their performances.  The lyrics to the song are below the video. The song that is performed is actually 5 to 6 minutes long, but for this special performance they extend it and improvise for an additional 5 to 6 minutes while engaging the audience and being very open and spontaneous.  And as a person struggling with finding peace despite social anxiety, I really admire the spontaneity of performers and others.  I believe you have to have some sort of peace within yourself to be able to have such spontaneity.  The song is one of my favorite U2 songs, “Bad“. Contrary to the title of the song, the song makes me want to do more good and be more responsible in making the world a better place, more peaceful. On the internet, there are multiple meanings to this song.  I’d like to think it’s about struggling with yourself as your own worse enemy and finally feeling “wide awake” at the end.  And guess what, I forgot how anxious I can get in social situations.  I guess the idea of thinking of everyone having a good time full of peace, hope, and spontaneity helps take the anxiety away.  What a peaceful thought that is…

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If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If I could, yes I would
If I could, I would
Let it go
Surrender
Dislocate

If I could throw this
Lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay
See you walk, walk away
Into the night
And through the rain
Into the half-light
And through the flame

If I could through myself
Set your spirit free
I’d lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day

To let it go
And so to fade away
To let it go
And so fade away

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Wide awake
I’m not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no

If you should ask then maybe they’d
Tell you what I would say
True colors fly in blue and black
Bruised silken sky and burning flag
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go…

This desparation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go

And so fade away
To let it go
And so fade away
To let it go
And so to fade away

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Wide awake
I’m not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no

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Push – Haiku My Heart

nature’s order — young
bird pushed to leave it’s safe home :
mother feels teen’s push…

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Chickadee by John James Audubon

Inspired by Haiku My Heart at Recuerda Mi Corazon

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Beauty – Haiku My Heart

beauty for a bird
distinct from that for fishes –
eye of beholder…

20131212-182831.jpgSky and Water I” by MC Escher

Inspired by Haiku My Heart at Recuerda Mi Corazon

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November Peace Post

b4peace

“This might be the toughest Peace Challenge for many of you, but I want to take us out of our comfort zones for true peace. This month, I want you to open your arms to your enemies. Think of a person, a place, a nation, a culture, a religion, a gender, or an ideology that you view as a enemy…Post a photo, piece of art, or collage that offers a vision of peace between you and your enemy…I honor your intention to do whatever you can to meet this challenge…”
-Kozo

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like lambs with the wolves,
my Hero once said, dear soul,
love thy enemies …

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“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.”
-Matthew 5:43-45


Wave – Haiku My Heart

as she nears, she fears;
a curl of energy falls –
a wave, nears then leaves…

20131114-101639.jpg surf art by Nathan Ledyard

Waves remind me of my tendency to curl up and retreat when I begin getting close to people.  I am working on not running away from making friends, but it’s not easy.  My reflex is to retreat.  I approach and then eventually I fall back just like a wave.  But, then again, like a wave, I try approaching again.

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Gratefully inspired by 20130916-181422.jpg

Haiku My Heart at Recuerda Mi Corazon

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Fan Behavior – 6WS

Is fan behavior a bad idea?

Finding myself highly intrigued by ALIAS;
I have watched all episodes once;
Bought a collectors DVD box set;
I’ve rewatched some episodes several times;
Show motivates me to be stronger;
Though fiction, somehow, I can relate…

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ALIAS is my favorite TV show.  The graphic above gives you a short summary of the show’s first episode.  Since it’s about spies, it’s considered what’s called spy-fi, or spy fiction.  It was on the air, on ABC, from 2001 to 2006.  I never saw it then, but I discovered it on Netflix a few months ago and got hooked. I have watched all 5 seasons of the series which includes more than a hundred episodes. I like it so much, I now rewatch episodes.  The best seasons are the 1st and 2nd Season. But the overall story is intriguing from start to finish. The show was created by J.J. Abrams, who is also one of the creators of Lost and Fringe. It’s fun and surprisingly thoughtful and philosophical with action, science fiction, and drama thrown in. To me, the show is about true power coming from love, family, and honor.  Those three values are mentioned by one of the characters towards the end of the series and seem to sum up the moral of the entire unusual story.  The story also questions the concept of free will versus fate through the interaction of the different characters searching for artifacts connected to a 15th century Leonardo de Vinci/Nostradamus type figure.  In addition, the main character’s determination, persistence, and other strengths are both refreshing and personally motivating after a sometimes difficult day at work, school, or life in general.

After being stressed by my day, and everyone has gone to sleep, I watch an episode of Alias for 45 minutes and forget my worries.   Then I pray and go to bed relaxed.  The next day, I’m ready and focused to go and juggle my life, not of a secret CIA double agent and grad student pretending to be a banker, but of an ordinary mom, wife, caseworker, and grad student.  Nearing the end of graduate school, I think I needed a distraction to help me unwind and relax at the end of the day, and I have found it with this series.  Maybe next I can check out Lost or Fringe.  For now, I’ll stick with ALIAS.  It seems to be doing me some good.  By the way, I’ve also bought an ALIAS t-shirt, music I’ve heard on the show, and I considered buying a red wig for Halloween.  Sometimes, I think I like the show a little too much, and I’m being silly to even consider a TV show as being a motiviational tool or some philosophical work.  Or is that my anxiety talking and telling me I can’t have something I enjoy because I must always be serious and be in control of everything.  What do you think?  One thing is for sure, I do feel better after writing this post.  I needed to let out both my excitement and my worry about my excitement.

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Inspired by

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Related Reading –

Field Guide to the Die-Hard Fan – via Psychology Today

Fan (person) – via Wikipedia

Alias Wiki – The comprehensive guide to everything about Alias.

Alias: A Free Agent – Bringing you spy news since 2003

The Psychology of Fan Outrage – via Brain Knows Better blog

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October Peace Post

b4peace

“Let’s visualize what a peaceful world will look like. For this month’s peace challenge, I challenge you to publish what your dream of peace looks like.”
-Kozo

When I saw Kozo’s challenge for October, my mind went negative. I thought of Hitler, Stalin, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Genghis Kahn…and the list goes on. People who seemingly no amount of peaceful communication would convince them to change their ways. And I thought of the complexities of the human mind and free will. And the idea that we cannot force peace on anyone because to force someone is to take away their freedom and contradicts the whole idea of peace. So why dream? It’s impossible? Then I thought maybe peace is not a destination, but a journey. And by approaching peace, despite the evils in the world, there will be peace some how. Maybe not perfect peace, I think that’s only possible in a higher power’s hands, but a daily striving to approach peace through acts of peace. So to dream is a way of approaching peace. A dream is an act of peace. I now realize it is better to approach perfect peace than to not have any peace at all. My dream of a peaceful world is filled with a majority of people who are kind, gentle, understanding, empathetic, not judgmental, and strive daily to do peaceful actions. I found the six minute video below on YouTube a couple of years ago. And I think my dream is much like the images and music in this video.


Follow Through – Haiku My Heart

nestling dreams of flight;
grown, flies at every startle,
unaware of Strength…

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In my backyard, looking up with my camera, I had the opportunity to capture this bird soaring through the sky.

Like Jenny in the movie Forrest Gump, as a little girl I wanted to fly away some how like a bird. I felt helpless being picked on by my brother. I was the little weird sister who was not cool and ugly and no one would ever like. I wish I had super powers and could defend myself. I’m not a superhero, but I’m now an adult. And I need to be the best me I can be and keep in mind that little girl who wanted to fly away. She now has a chance to see what she can really do. Actually, I’ve had a chance for quite some time. My anxiety and depression slowed my progress down a bit (I think that’s an understatement).  Well, the anxiety and depression aren’t as bad anymore.  I need to follow through and show the little girl how healthy and strong she can really be. I, too often, have neglected my health (spiritual, mental, and physical). I guess I still hear my brother’s words in my head some how and don’t realize the “Strength” I have. I need to stop running away when I’m “startled” and be aware of my unhealthy escape habits and replace them with healthy habits. I know I have started already, but I still have more to work on for that little girl.

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Gratefully inspired by 20130916-181422.jpg

Haiku My Heart at Recuerda Mi Corazon

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Blue Skies – Haiku My Heart

longing for the clouds,
she stares at the bare blue skies,
heart beats quick, searching…

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Yes, I agree, blue skies are beautiful, but I prefer the clouds for some reason.  Why is that?  I dwelt on that thought for a while and this other thought came up.  Blue skies remind me of the agoraphobia I use to experience when my panic disorder was at its worse.  I preferred sitting or standing close to a door or exit for fear of having a panic attack and feeling confused, out of control, and frozen in fear not knowing exactly how to escape or find comfort around me.  That rarely happens anymore, but the wide blue space in the sky, without the comfort of the clouds reminds me of that feeling of being in an open crowded space and not having a way to escape or find comfort and feeling a state of panic.  Today, I’m able to be in a crowded open space and it doesn’t bother me too much.  Similarly, the blue sky doesn’t really bother me, and I can appreciate it, but I still remember the missing clouds.

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Inspired by 20130916-181422.jpg

Haiku My Heart at Recuerda Mi Corazon

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