Lately, I’m feeling calmer, but scatterbrained.
Normally propelled by my anxiety, my
current calm perplexes me and has
me stuck in a changing state
of mind. I guess my mind
is being open to something new.
When I think of scatterbrained, I think of Dr. Walter Bishop from the Fringe TV show. He’s extremely intelligent, but he is often all over the place. But those frequent scatters of his mind often lead his team and the viewer to some profound truths. Although I doubt I’m as intelligent, I am feeling the intense scatterbrain, poor focus part. I have felt this before several years ago and eventually got back on track again. The difference this time is that my anxiety symptoms have decreased drastically in the past couple of months. However, I feel a bit lost without the extra push of motivation that the anxiety seemed to give. Then again, my past excessive anxiety is not something I want to come back to. The little poem above is something I came up with to express the confusion and frustration I’m feeling. Anyway, from experience with a similar scatterbrain state in the past, I find that it usually signals something that needs attention or resolving that I have been avoiding. I’m not quite sure what that is right now, but I have the feeling something’s opening up, and someone is trying to tell me something. God does work in mysterious ways.